So the end of the world begins on a winter night at home. My wife and I are watching television.....yeah that's something isn't it? Thirteen years of marriage gets you a night of watching some TV show were the host of some reality show is over inflated with his fucking ego and the contestants are reality whores and probably all high on coke (hell you can just about see them wiping the shit from their nose) all competing for some money that they can piss away and end up in jail for tax evasion......yeah....wedded bliss.
Anyway we're sitting around watching this reality crap fest when the door in the kitchen opens. Yeah, right...just opens. No doorbell....no knock....not even a fucking "hey anyone home" call out.....just opens. We look startled at each other.....who the hell just opens your door and walks in? Better yet, what dumb ass just leaves his door to his house unlocked so said asshole can walk in.......(raises my hand) ME!!
I think, maybe I should go grab one of my twenty - some Japanese Katana swords I have in my collection , which is about as useless as extra absorbent paper towels.....come on...you just throw the fuckers away don't you......why do we need extra absorbent and pay extra cash for them when you can just buy the shitty ones that do the same job.....oh yeah....they tear too easily....
Wait....the end of the world....the person in my house....yeah let me get back to that.
My good buddy Richard walks in......now Rick is a real stand up guy....the kind of guy that you can always count on...........................................................................................................................................................................................
....................................the kind of guy you can count on to be an asshole and just walk in you house. Rick is a real comedian .....a real clown.....a real prankster.....a real pain in my fucking ass. He's always looking for the next big laugh. The next big con. The next big prank....and most of them would end up on the net with the world FAIL on them. He's the kind of guy that would try to drink as much milk as he could just to puke all the shit up and catch it on video and then post it on YouTube to try to make it go viral.....and most of the time there are more dislikes than there are likes......and what few likes there are, he probably put them on himself.....yeah....FAIL.
So when he comes in my house all I can say is, "What the hell!"
He looks at me, that big shitty grin. the big bastard. Yeah, he's tall as hell and weighs a good chunk....he's not fat, just tall and built. And dumb in my book.
"Hey duder."
"Duder?", I ask him. How lame is that.
"Yeah hell whatever. Guess what? I got something online you need to see. This could be gold man. Real fucking gold. I mean if it's not real, with your video expertise, we could MAKE it real!"
My video expertise is in video production....camera work and editing. Yeah. It;s what I do for a living. Wedding videos...court depositions, small TV commercials.....yep a real pro! HA HA!
"Please Rick.....can't you see I'm watching this fine entertainment right now."
He gets in my face.
"Seriously man. This is prime shit. This is like Call of Cthulhu stuff. Really."
Yeah...Rick DOES read. And like me we are both HUGE H.P. Lovecraft fans.....probably the only reason why we are friends. So anything to do with Lovecraft, prank or no prank....I'm game.
I look over at my wife. She rolls her eyes back.
I look over back at Rick.
"Upstairs...come on....the computer is on....."
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